What Makes for a Happy Marriage?
Boy meets girl, they fall in love, they get married, and they live happily ever after. A number of people are lucky enough to live this scenario. Unfortunately, so many other couples in both heterosexual and same-sex marriages don’t get to experience the “and they live happily ever after” part because the relationship doesn’t last. What are the secrets to a happy marriage then? One that survives or even thrives in spite of difficult problems? Let’s take a look at some of those secrets here.
Acceptance and Discovery: Why They Are Important for a Happy Marriage
Too many people make the mistake of wanting to change too many things about their partner. Sure, it’s understandable if you want your spouse to abandon certain habits, such as smoking. If you explain why and how certain aspects of their attitude or behaviour are affecting you and your marriage, there’s a good chance that he or she will listen and perhaps even make the desired changes. But trying to change other things, such as his or her taste in books or music, can be counter-productive. You will only be fostering resentment by making your partner feel he or she isn’t good enough for you.
Boredom is another marital minefield. You might think major problems such as infidelity or physical abuse are what cause many marriages to break up. The truth is, even a seemingly minor marital hiccup such as boredom can lead to devastating results, such as an affair or even divorce. Too many marriages have ended because of boring everyday routines or a stale sex life.
A happy marriage doesn’t have to be exciting every minute of the day. But boredom can be minimized by doing new things together. It can be as extreme as going skydiving or taking a vacation in an exotic location as a couple, or something as simple as experimenting with new dinner recipes. Sex life getting to be a drag? Act out your fantasies with your spouse, or buy a copy of the Kama Sutra and have fun trying out different positions.
Communication Is Necessary to Have a Happy Marriage
A lot of the resentment and hurt that arise in a marriage comes from the failure of one or both parties to communicate effectively. Assuming that your partner should know what you want or need without you having to tell him or her can give rise to misunderstanding and grief. Remember that your spouse isn’t a mind reader, so it’s important for you to communicate your thoughts clearly.
The ability to listen well is just as vital in the communication process. Too often, a person’s ears are closed to what his or her spouse is attempting to communicate because he or she already has preconceived notions of the subject at hand. Just as you want your partner to listen to your opinions and concerns, so should you also make every effort to sincerely listen with an open mind to what he or she has to say.
Marriage, to succeed, involves a lot of hard work, dedication, and trust. Doing things and saying words aimed at keeping yourself and your spouse feeling loved and appreciated isn’t easy all the time. But the result – a happy marriage – is worth it.